I like to think a lot about life. I don’t know why exactly, other than that I feel compelled to do so. I want to understand it, I want to organize it, I want to conceptualize a way of living it… “well.” I want to strive for something worthy of me, my energy, and my life. And I don’t want that energy and life going to something unworthy of it. I want a meaningful life. So this post is a rough outline of what I’ve come up with. It is an outline of my approach to life (or my life philosophy). By the way, hidden within this post you will find the origin and meaning of the blog title (life existante).

My ideas in this post are driven by three questions:

1. What is the nature of human life?
2. How does one live the good life?
3. How does one conceptualize our drives, needs, pain and suffering?

So what is the nature of human life? As one who strives to be a Christian, I believe very much in the metaphysical. This entails a creator that is ontologically distinct from human kind, not like Aristotle’s “unmoved mover” who was understood to exist within nature, but more akin to Plato’s “the One” or “the Good” which has His being outside of the natural realm. In Christianity, this creator is understood to be triune in nature (Augustine, On the Trinity, AD 416). This conceptualization of God (the creator) as a trinity maintains that God is One, but in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I fully accept this view of God and I believe that as our creator He made us in His image. So, being made in His image, I understand human beings to also be triune in nature: soul, spirit, body (though please note: ontologically distinct from God). I have a number of theological reasons for this view, and for how I organize and understand the interrelation of these three components of the human being, but perhaps these reasons should be the subject of a another post. What is important here is a recognition of the three components of the human being: soul, spirit, body.

The soul is that component of mankind that does not belong to the natural/sensible realm. It is imperishable and reasonable, the hinge between the metaphysical and natural realms. It has been given to humankind to dwell in the infinite, contemplating that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, good, and excellent of “the One.” The soul is that part of mankind that is given authority and will, that directs the body. The body in turn is to actualize in the natural realm that which the soul wills. The body does the will of the soul. And the soul (being the hinge between the natural world and the metaphysical world) glimpses into the mysteries of heaven. It cannot comprehend these mysteries, or take them in fully, but it ponders and reveres them. In astonishment the soul reflects on the eternal and is mystified. And as the soul dwells among the infinite, it wills that these wonders manifest in the finite. It wills to reflect the glories of God and His heavens in the natural/temporal realm, and thus the body moves accordingly, empowered by the spirit, which is its lifeblood. 

While the soul has executive functioning, the human spirit moves within the material realm (the body) to manifest the soul’s will therein. So the human spirit is actually closer to Aristotle’s idea of the soul. It is the actualizing force within the material world, its lifeblood. The spirit is the breath of life in the body which moves it toward its culminating expression. It (the spirit) emanates from the soul, manifesting in the body. And so, humankind exists with this one task or purpose, to dwell on all that is infinite and manifest it within the finite; to ponder the eternal and express it within the temporal; to wonder at the mysteries of the heavens and embody them in the material world. This is the source of human creativity as it manifests in so many different ways: art, music, theatre, language and writing, mathematics, philosophy, physics, athletics, and much much more.

With this in view, I understand all of life as having a single means of fulfillment, to manifest what is eternal within the temporal, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. To serve as the conduit by which God manifests His fullness of life, love, joy, and beauty in the natural/sensible realm. And there is no time to loose, every moment is the opportunity to actualize this glory. Still the tools we’re given are inadequate for the task. How can one possibly embody the glory of the eternal and spiritual, reflecting it in full here in the temporal and physical? It is far too great for us, it cannot be contained and held. And this is the essence of anxiety (in the human spirit). I do not mean the debilitating anxiety that is destructive, but that necessary and driving force that arouses one to act, to be, to do. It is the task of the human spirit to materialize in the natural realm that which cannot be collected by nature. This constant task, which never ceases, of actualizing the full glory of the eternal in a single moment, and moment after moment; it cannot be done, and yet it must be done, it is the very glory and fulfillment of mankind to spend all in pursuit of this task. It is our fulfillment as we seek its fulfillment, and it is our emptiness and despair as we neglect it.

Perhaps the last sentence begins to hint at my conceptualization of the human pain and suffering that we experience. If this is the means of our fulfillment, or the means by which we live the “good life,” to dwell on the infinite and to each moment manifest in this temporal space that which is eternal in nature, then that source of fulfillment, fullness, joy, and life is severed when we neglect this task. And here we find another dimension of the difficulty of the human condition; though the soul is given executive functioning it must also tend to the body, which has actual physical needs to be sustained in the finite realm so that it can carry out its task. Things like food, water, warmth and shelter, etc. In order for a human being to perform his/her task of pondering the infinite and manifesting it in the finite, it must also sustain the body which is its expression in the finite/natural/sensory realm. So there exists an interrelationship between the soul, spirit, and body in which each component’s function must be valued and nurtured, but in which taken as a whole the collective goal/function is far greater than itself. The collective goal/function requires that the human being turn away from itself and focus its attention on “the One” in that infinite, eternal realm. So the human condition is such that we must tend to ourselves (due primarily to the limitations of the body) and simultaneously turn away from ourselves and give our attention and focus to “the One,” who is our very source of life, love, hope, joy, and peace. It is a difficult predicament.

Faced with the reality of this paradoxical condition, humanity has collectively fallen prey to an error; we have sought to become our own source of life and fulfillment. Rather than looking to “The One” and receiving life, love, hope, joy, and peace (or collectively…fulfillment) from Him, our souls have turned inward and become insular, seeking these sources of fulfillment within themselves. And the soul by nature must dwell on, consider, and wonder at something, so it makes the body and the natural/sensing realm its object of praise and adoration. For here in and through the body, the soul can will to manifest itself and find pleasure in these manifestations. And so it does, and they are real pleasures.

As real as these pleasures are, with repetition and time they fade, and the soul begins to seek variety (see Kierkegaard’s works: Part 1 of Either/Or, 1843; Repetition, 1843). However, the soul has turned away from the infinite source of life and joy, which would manifest itself in an infinite variety of ways, and is therefore left only with the finite. To avoid boredom, the soul continually strives for variety within the finite, but with limited success. It continually recycles its expressions within the finite, taking pleasure in them, but with time (which belongs to the finite) these expressions and pleasures begin to fade and lose their appeal. The sense of emptiness ensues and slowly the reality of our condition sets in (see The Sickness unto Death, Kierkegaard). The meaninglessness of such a life becomes an ever-present cloud that only lingers in the back of the mind at first, but with time this cloud grows darker and more prominent. And there are two primary responses to this developing dread, we call them depression and anxiety (that detrimental and debilitating kind). Depression being the tendency to give up and fall into despair, anxiety being the tendency to run from the dread. This anxiety seeks escape, and can be characterized as a need to always keep busy and/or surrounded by others because one can’t stand to be still or in solitude (because in these times the dread sets in). An Avett Brothers song captures the nature of this anxiety well (Give it a listen by finding it on the right side of the screen):

Will I ever know silence without mental violence, will the ringing in my head go away?

The Avett Brothers, Incomplete and Insecure, I and Love and You

*Give this song a listen by finding it on the right side of the screen

This is how I see it, this is our collective human condition. And by way of my Christian faith, this is what I believe Jesus the Christ came to save us from. To restore us into a right relationship with “the One,” to restore our very purpose and means of fulfillment in our existence. This is my firm hope and trust.

Now with this universal human condition established, we can begin to examine the differences among us. The differences among us have to do with how we approach our lives (this universal condition described above) and the ramifications for the respective approaches we use. There are three life positions possible for a given human being to adopt. The aesthetic approach clings to the external/temporal/finite and seek fulfillment therein (a life dedicated to and feeding on the senses and the aesthetic); the ascendant approach clings to the self in inwardness for seeking fulfillment (a life dedicated to the self, one’s own identity, one’s own ideas, thoughts, values); and the existante approach clings to “the One” in inwardness for seeking fulfillment (a life restored to its intended place and dedicated to “the One,” in whom it receives its fulfillment from).

The aesthetic life described above, which clings to the external/ temporal/finite, makes the body its primary and central focus. Those in this position seek pleasure with little or no regulation from the soul. Here, the soul has willed to will what the body demands. And the body is like a child that is unable to differentiate between what it needs and what it wants. Its demands are constant, and the more of its way that it gets the more of its way that it wants. And the more the body screams and cries and complains the more the soul seeks to pacify it (for just a little peace and quiet!). The soul here tells itself that it has no choice, it has no “authority,” the body needs what the body needs, so it must just give it what it wants. And just as it occurs within an enmeshed family, when the parents neglect their role as parents, to teach and guide their child regarding the difference between what is needed and what is wanted, to help him/her learn the task of self-discipline, when parents neglect this responsibility then a chaotic environment emerges. The child, who doesn’t know what is best for him/her ends up making his/her own decisions and the parents simply comply to pacify. Here develops confusion about who calls the shots, the child gets an inflated sense of entitlement, and when he/she doesn’t get his/her way there is a meltdown, since the child has never learned to self-regulate. Anxiety skyrockets in the family and cannot be soothed until the child gets what he/she wants… but then as soon as he/she gets the object of desire it then becomes boring and he/she immediately moves on to the next demand. The heightened state of anxiety within such a family becomes chronic and sets the tone for the child’s life course. And just as it occurs in this kind of chaotic family, it likewise occurs within the interrelation of the human soul, spirit, and body. The soul is the executive, the “parent” in the relation, while the body is the “child.” The soul is tasked with the responsibility of providing for needs but also teaching discipline and self-regulation. When this task is neglected, a chronic internal anxiety (of the detrimental kind) results. The more the body demands the more the soul complies.

The sensualist, I’ll allow ye, begins by pursuing a real pleasure, though a small one. His sin is the less. But the time comes on when, though the pleasure becomes less and less and the craving fiercer and fiercer, and though he knows that joy can never come that way, yet he prefers to joy the mere fondling of unappeasable lust and would not have it taken from him. He’d fight to the death to keep it. He’d like well to be able to scratch: but even when he can scratch no more he’d rather itch than not.

C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce, 1945

The ascendant life described above, which clings to the self in the internal, makes the soul the primary and central focus. Here, the soul tends to its tasks in executive functioning, yet it does so for its own pleasure and good. Here, it seeks to squeeze as much out of life in the body as possible, and it therefore recognizes the importance of discipline so that the body has longevity and vitality to serve the desires of the soul. Through discipline of the body, the soul acquires power not just over the self, but through the body it acquires power in the social and material realm. This is where it’s real pleasure is acquired, exercising its wit, power, and authority through social and psychological dominance of both itself and others. In this position, the soul takes pride in mastering itself (unlike those others who cling to the external and have no self-mastery or control). But mastering itself is soon not enough (it gets boring), and by means of that mastered self the soul seeks to master and control others. It takes pleasure in its ability to sway opinion and convince others, to control, to exercise its own will even beyond itself. But this too, is ultimately a recast of the first position. It too is grounded in the pleasures of the aesthetic. Here, the ultimate goal of the human being is dedicated only to that which is pleasurable and feels good to the soul. It is self-focused and therefore any “love” it seeks in relation to others is more accurately a need to be loved.  That is, one only loves in another what is pleasurable to the self, and when that pleasure fades such a love fades with it. Consequently, when one does have the opportunity for love its expression ends up being more akin to masturbation than actual love (which is other focused). From this position, the inner self is emphasized and comes first, and that which crosses this self or gets in the way of what it seeks for itself is despised and hated. For this reason, the idea of a God who one must put above the self is despised and hated, along with those people who represent such an idea. This position tends to view all interactions outside of itself in terms of power. All that stands in the way of fulfilling oneself is considered oppressive and thus is rejected and despised.

The existante life described, which clings to “the One” in the internal, makes “the One” and His infinite and eternal realm its primary/central focus. It receives life freely and takes joy in reflecting it as best it can in the temporal/ finite world. This one gives no care to the self, but rather uses that self in earnestness to live, to love, and to care for others. There is a simplicity about this one, this one who simply accepts that the self is and immediately puts it to use. This one receives the self from God in inwardness, and since it is there secured it requires no validation in the external. It is simply and immediately put to use. This one does not conceive of the possibility of the “not self,” and would find it laughable if it could. And in not conceiving of the possibility of the not self, the self is actually held secure in inwardness. But not just in inwardness but in relation to love Himself in that inwardness. And this love is fully trustworthy, for it is in His nature alone to constantly give of Himself, all of Himself, to any who will have Him. And those who will have Him will likewise manifest Him.   And here now, the one who loves has her/his task, to make use of the self to manifest the eternal within the temporal. Moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, the self is to be the conduit by which that which is eternal bursts forth into temporal time. “And only that which never becomes something else is love.” This Love is that very thing which is eternal, never resting and always seeking its incarnation in the temporal/external world. It is never wasted, but always “accomplishes that which it desires, and achieves that for which it is sent.” Love binds up the hate within oneself, rescuing the self that was enslaved therein. Where the light of Love is shone the darkness of hate flees, for it knows that it cannot stand in the presence of that “consuming fire.”

I think it important to say that none of us operates entirely within the bounds of a single life position. I believe that we all find ourselves at times (even regularly) operating from the first and second positions (clinging to the external, and clinging to the self in the internal). In this, we are all very similar, it is part of the universal human condition. The difference between us though, is in which position we place our hope for fulfillment, joy, life, and love. I myself strive for and place my hope in the third position (existante), where I receive from “the One” and seek to reflect and manifest His Love, life, peace, and joy in this material world. I believe this is “the way” of the Good Life. I believe it is the course toward a fulfilling and meaningful life that has eternal and infinite value, which cannot ever fade or diminish or become boring and old. It is freedom from anxiety and depression, from the pains of life even in the midst of experiencing those pains in temporality. But I see many who place their hope for fulfillment and meaning in the first two positions (aesthetic & ascendant), which are fleeting and leave one thirstier than when they first started drinking from them. They are like wells of salt water, which in the end are a poison to us. I grieve within myself when I drink from them, and I know very well that they can’t fulfill me… even as I drink. Likewise, I grieve for others when I see them drinking from these wells with the full hope of assurance that they will satisfy. This is how I conceptualize those who are different from me. Not that we are really so different, but that we place our hope in different life positions for fulfillment, life, love, peace, and joy. And this is the difference that makes all the difference in the world.